A Clam's Awkward Moments
by Tristitia13
Summary: A series of drabbles describing awkward, random, or just plain weird moments in the Vongola Family. Mostly First Generation-centric, but will have others. Chapter 19: The Guardians all gather, and Tsuna fears for the fate of the world...and his virginity.
1. Handcuffs Equal Oh God the Subtext

This is a series of drabbles that I'm writing out of boredom. I want it to mainly focus on awkward moments in the First Generation Vongola Guardians.

Disclaimer: Reborn! belongs to Akira Amano

Summary: Giotto questions the different uses of handcuffs, and Alaude is clueless.

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><p>"Alaude?"<p>

The Cloud Guardian turned to look at Giotto, who was lounging across his desk.

"What is it?" he asked impatiently.

"Have you ever used your handcuffs for anything other than arresting people?"

Alaude was puzzled. "No, why?"

"Because earlier, I heard some of the maids talking about how your handcuffs are really kinky. I've never noticed it before, but now that I think about it, they really do seem a bit… ah… _suggestive_."

There was a moment of awkward silence. Then Alaude turned to Giotto with a strange look on his face.

"Giotto."

"Y-yes?"

"What does 'kinky' mean?"

"…"

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><p>R&amp;R please!<p> 


	2. Apparently Vendice Obeys Copright Laws

Chapter Two: Genius biologist Geppetto Lorenzini learns of the horrors of copyright.

152 words

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><p>"Mwahahahaha! This is my greatest creation ever! I am truly a genius, to come up with such an awesome, original idea!"<p>

Geppetto Lorenzini laughed his awesome evil laugh as he worked frantically on the blueprints for his newest idea, Box Weapons.

"Yes, these will be the weapons of the future! My Box Weapons will be the most powerful weapons ever, and people will tremble in fear before them!"

"Yes, and each box will contain an animal! And they'll appear in a flash of light when you call their name!"

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

Geppetto answered it impatiently. "What do you want?"

"This is the Vindice," one of the mysterious black figures said. "We are here to arrest you for disregarding the copyright placed on the Pokemon™ Merchandise and copying their original idea."

"What? NOOO!" Geppetto cried as chains randomly appeared and dragged him away.

"WHAT THE HECK IS POKEMON ANYWAYS?"

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><p>So much for my First Gen. awkwardness theme, huh? Sorry bout that. Anyways, R&amp;R!<p> 


	3. Your Nuts on Fire

Chapter 3: What if Giotto decided to bring a certain Sky Box Animal home with him one day?

177 words

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><p>"No."<p>

G. stared in horror at the… creature… in front of him.

"Absolutely not."

"But G.!" Giotto whined. "Why not? It's so cute!" The idiot boss cuddled the strange animal affectionately.

"No, for the last time! We are not having a weird mini-lion thingy on _fire _wearing some sort of strange _helmet_ in the mansion. Just no!"

"G…." Giotto whined, giving him the puppy-dog eyes.

G. cursed and tried to resist with all his might. And failed. _Damn that boss and his feminine looks!_

"… Fine," he agreed reluctantly. "But you're the one getting Alaude's permission.

"Yay!" Giotto did a ballerina twirl with joy.

"But still…" G. stared at the creature with fascination. "It's so weird. This kind of thing should be impossible, shouldn't it?"

"G., I literally have my head on fire every day. If I can do it, so can he."

"… Point taken. So, what are you going to name the little guy?" G. asked.

"Nuts!"

"…_**WHUT?**_"

"You heard me! Nuts!"

G. facepalmed. His boss was an idiot in every sense of the word.

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><p>R&amp;R please!<p> 


	4. The Different Uses of Flutes

Summary: Daemon gets background music and Giotto gets a flute in his ass.

308 words

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><p>"Fuu-fuuuuuuu-fu-fuuuuu-FUUUUUU!"<p>

Daemon Spade whirled around furiously and glared at the cause of the irritating noise.

Asari grinned sheepishly at him and took the flute off his lips.

"Why have you been following me around all day, playing your flute wherever I go?" Daemon growled.

"Sorry," Asari grinned. "But it's orders from Giotto. He said to follow you around all day and provide background music for your life. I even have the mission statement right here, if you want to check." Asari took out a manila folder from his robes and waved it.

But Daemon was too livid to care. "WHAT? THAT DAMN GIOTTO! I SWEAR I'M GOING TO SEND HIM TO HELL AND BACK!"

Daemon stormed off in the direction of Giotto's office, but not before grabbing Asari's flute from his hands. "I'll be borrowing this."

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><p>In his office, Giotto heard Daemon's war cry and immediately knew he was in trouble. He tried to hide behind his desk, but it was pointless.<p>

Daemon materialized behind the poor boss in a cloud of mist and grinned menacingly. Giotto trembled in fear as Daemon held up the flute threateningly.

"You are going to _pay_."

Terrified screaming was heard throughout the mansion that day.

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><p>The next day at the weekly meeting, Giotto limped in 5 minutes late. His Guardians (with the exception of Asari, who was sobbing, and Daemon, who was smirking, and Alaude, who didn't care) all rushed to his side.<p>

"Giotto, are you all right?"

"What happened to the EXTREME?"

"Yare, yare, you look like shit."

Giotto winced. "Well… Daemon stuck Asari's flute up my ass."

Silence filled the room. In the background, you could hear Asari sobbing about his 'precious baby getting forced into Giotto's dirty butt'.

"Forget that we ever asked."

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><p>That day, the town therapist got a visit from four traumatized Guardians (and that includes Alaude).<p>

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><p>Wow, my drabbles have been getting longer and longer. Oh well. R&amp;R please!<p> 


	5. Hair Gel: Something to Die For

Summary: Mukuro laments over the Estraneo Family's lack of hair gel.

203 words

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><p>"P-please don't k-kill me!" the scientist stuttered, backed up against the wall. All of his comrades' bodies lay around him in grotesque shapes.<p>

"Kufufufu~ No can do," a 10-year-old Rokudo Mukuro said. "I must have my revenge on the Estraneo Famiglia."

"I-I know you're angry about the experiments! But please, it'll never happen again! Just spare my life!"

"Experiments?" Mukuro seemed puzzled. "I couldn't care less about those. The problem with your idiotic family is that you don't have enough hair gel!"

"…" The scientist stared at the boy.

"I mean, look." The illusionist gestured to his spiky hairstyle. "Even my pineapple is drooping! How do expect me to live like this?"

Mukuro growled at the scientist. "For denying me of a necessity I need to live properly, I shall end your life!"

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><p>A little while later, Ken and Chikusa cautiously peeked in the doorway of the room where they had heard screams coming out of. Mukuro turned and smiled at them, taking off his eye patch.<p>

"Kufufufu~ Would you two like to come with me? Let's go find a happy land full of hair gel!"

And so, the three future-Kokuyo-gang-members headed off on their epic quest to find the ultimate hair gel.

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><p>Again, not very First-Gen.-y awkward, but funny, I hope. R&amp;R please!<p> 


	6. It's Not A Cloak Fetish

Summary: Giotto has a _slight_ cloak fetish, and G. tries in vain to find a wall harder than his head.

155 words

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><p>"Hmm… Should I wear this one? Or this one? Oh, how about this one? Agh, I can't decide! They're all so awesome!"<p>

Giotto had a problem right now. A very big problem. He stared at his open wardrobe, carefully comparing each cloak to the other.

"Just pick one already! They all look the same, anyways!" G. yelled at his idiot boss. Why did Giotto spend hours every day trying to choose a cloak from the hundreds of identical looking ones he had?

"Buuuut, G.! I can't! And they're not the same. See, this one is a slightly different shade of black, and this one is 0.5mm shorter, and this one blows slightly more dramatically in the wind, and – hey G.! Where are you going?"

"To find a hard wall. So I can bang my head on it at your utter stupidity."

"… Well, good luck!"

And thus began an ordinary day in the Vongola household.

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><p>I'm so sad! T_T I only got one review for this fic. I know it isn't very good, but still! Oh well...<p>

R&R, ok? Please? *gives puppy dog eyes*


	7. Don't Eavesdrop on the Boss

Summary: Lampo ponders his sexual orientation and Giotto and Cozart do some… _questionable_ things behind closed doors.

Warning: Mature implications and slash

314 words

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><p>"Ahhh! Cozart! Don't be so rough! I can't ta – ohhhh, right there! That's so good! Yes, more!" Giotto moaned.<p>

Lampo pressed even closer to Giotto's closed office door, straining to make out the broken conversation.

"Are you sure you want me to be gentle?" Cozart panted, a hint of a smirk in his voice.

"No, no I take it back! Harder!" There were a few minutes of pleasure filled moans and heavy panting.

Lampo suddenly felt something wet trickling down from his nose. He reached up and wiped the liquid off with the back of his hand. He stared in horror at the red stain. Was he… having a _nosebleed? _No, no! There was absolutely _no_ way he was getting a nosebleed from eavesdropping on Giotto and Cozart doing… mature things! No way! He was _straight!_

Suddenly, the moans started again. Lampo couldn't take it anymore. There was no way he was letting Giotto and Cozart turn him gay!

Lampo burst through the doors into the office. "Boss! Cozart! Stop doing it in the middle of the da-!"

The young aristocrat stopped midsentence at the scene in front of him. Giotto was sprawled on the couch, with Cozart on top of him, giving the Mafia boss… a massage.

Giotto looked up. "Is there something you need, Lampo?"

"Um… no! Sorry, wrong room! Excuse me!" Lampo quickly backed out of the office and slammed the doors shut. He took a deep breath and walked away.

_Damn that boss and his misleading ways! I can't believe I got a nosebleed from a massage!_

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><p>Back in the office, Giotto chuckled evilly and locked both arms around Cozart's head, bringing him down for a kiss. Cozazrt sighed.<p>

"Giotto, you're such a trickster."

"I know. But that's why you love me, right? Now that the nuisance is gone, should we head to my bedroom?"

"That sounds good to me."

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><p>R&amp;R please!<p> 


	8. The Vongola Family's Epic Formation

Summary: In which the Vongola Family is reluctantly formed, but some people aren't too happy about it.

297 words

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><p>"… Let me get this straight. You want to name our family after <em>clams?<em>" G. asked.

The Guardians stared at their idiotic boss with varying expressions of shock, bemusement, and disgust.

"Yep!" Giotto smiled cheerfully, as if there wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

"Clams." Asari repeated.

"Yep!"

"You can't be serious." Even Alaude decided to contribute.

"I assure you, I am."

Giotto took out an intricately designed box and placed it on the table.

"Look, I even got everyone rings to officially name you as part of the Vongola Family!"

He pulled open the box's lid and the Guardians stared at the shiny, rainbow-colored contents in horror.

"Giotto… Clams are bad enough… but you don't expect us to… _wear these?_" Daemon asked in disgust.

"You bet I do!" Giotto gave the men the _look_. They slowly started backing away. "What, you don't like them?"

"N-no, that's not it… It's just…" Knuckles chuckled nervously, trying to get to the door as fast as possible without being too conspicuous.

"Well, if there's nothing wrong with them, then I expect you to start wearing them _now_. And _never_ take them off."

Giotto's eyes flashed evilly and he approached the Guardians slowly, holding the box out as if it was a bomb or something.

"Come on…" he crooned.

At this point, all of the Guardians abandoned their plan of escaping unnoticed. They took one look at the evil grin on Giotto's face and the potentially dangerous weapon he was holding in his hands and switched to plan B.

"AHHHHHHH! RUN FOR IT!"

The rest of the day was spent with the Big Bad Wolf Giotto hunting down the poor bunnies known as his Guardians and forcing his evil ways onto them.

And thus the powerful, infamous Vongola Family was formed.

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><p>R&amp;R please!<p> 


	9. The Bro Society

Summary: In which Alaude, Fon, and Hibari have a very strange conversation under the influence of alcoholic beverages.

452 words

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><p>"Sooo… like… why do… like… people… think… we loooook… what? I don't know. They think… we look… like… what waaas iiiitttt… bros?"<p>

Hibari giggled, teetering on his chair, looking like he was going to collapse any second. The usually stern Disciplinary Committee Leader clutched his bottle of tequila and looked at the other two men hazily, still giggling madly.

"Like… brothers from another mother? Duuuuude… that would be… ummm… you know… *hiccup*… totally… epicnessfully… yeah…"

Fon (in his adult form) was rolling around on the bed, tangling his long braid and robes in the blue sheets. He finally stopped and stared drunkenly at the ceiling.

"Duuuudes… I think I can see the... you know… galax-star thingies… is the… umm… is the… roof… missing?"

"Pfft. Don't be… ridiculous."

At least Alaude seemed to have some sense in him.

"We would… like… totally be… like… twins… separated at birth… by… like… an evil pineapple… and… a… froggy? Aaand… like... the roooof? Was blown away by a… tornadie-twisty-thingy…"

Or maybe not.

Hibari cast a skeptical look at his blonde ancestor.

"Buuut… there are… one, two… ummmm… three of us… so… wouldn't it be like… quadruplets… or something?"

"I dooon't get it…" Fon wailed. "I… think they're all… deaf? Nooo… it's blind. Yeah, blind. I mean… we don't even… ummm… _look_ alike… or sound alike… it's like… pos-…emposs-… asjkjsh-… impossible. That's the… thing-stuff I was looking for."

"You guys! What the hell are you doing in my room in the middle of the day?"

Sawada Tsunayoshi burst into his bedroom with a furious look on his face. The three men turned to regard him with looks of drunken delight on their faces.

"Duuude… it's the… boss tuna!"

Hibari tipped out of his chair and took a facedive into the carpet, still giggling.

"Yeah… tuna's such… a… boss. Like… totally bossy boss."

Fon rolled off the bed in an attempt to get up and crashed into a drawer.

"The manliest of tuna… and the bossiest of ukes…"

Alaude tried to take a few wobbly steps in Tsuna's direction but tripped on air and fell directly onto the poor boss.

Tsuna's faced reddened. He threw Alaude off him and turned to the other two, looking positively murderous.

"Who are you calling an uke? And why are you even here, Alaude? You're supposed to be dead! And why are you all drunk? Why is Fon even here? Wasn't he on a vacation in China? Why isn't Hibari on his mission?"

But the tuna boss was ignored.

"Duuuude… we should like… totally… set up a… Bro Society… for… you know… like… long lost quadruplets… who… don't look alike… at all… *hiccup*"

"That… sounds… _awesome_!"

"Yeah… when do we… *giggle*… start?"

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><p>I really don't know where this came from. Even the author is puzzled by her own creation. Oh well.<p>

R&R, peeps, or else the newly formed Bro Society will get drunk in your room! But... I have a feeling that most of you would love for that to happen, wouldn't you? Ah, fangirls and their evil ways. Tee hee. Anyways, bye!

Click this for eternal happiness

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	10. A GreatGreatGreat Grandpa's Love

Summary: In which Giotto first meets his successor and has some… thoughts…

448 words

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><p>"I can't believe it!" Giotto huffed, pacing around the metaphysical space inside the Vongola Ring. "Sawada Iemitsu is a fool! I can't believe he chose this- this… Tuna person to be the next boss!"<p>

"Giotto, calm down. You know you're in _my_ ring, right? Be a little more respectful of my home." Knuckles looked at his boss reproachfully, but was ignored.

"Maa maa, I'm sure he can't be as bad as he sounds, right, de gozaru?" Asari tried to calm the fuming Primo down.

"No, it's _worse_. Apparently, this Tuna person is a complete failure, called No-Good by all his peers. Bad at school, bad at sports, awkward and clumsy, with no hope in life. And his Guardians are just a band of misfits made of _teenagers_! What's going to happen to the precious Family I worked so hard to create?"

Suddenly, G. stood up. "Oh, we're here."

The rest of the Guardians looked at him. "So we're finally going to meet one of the contestants for the Vongola Decimo's title, huh?"

Slowly, the dark box containing the rings opened, sunlight pouring in. Primo and his Guardians blinked a bit, adjusting to the sunlight, before coming out of the rings and into the open. They were invisible to everyone but each other, so that they could observe the candidates in peace.

They were met with quite a sight. The boy holding the box was short and slim, with pale, delicate skin and big honey brown eyes that glistened like gold. He had a tangle of spiky, unruly chocolate brown hair that framed his innocent face. He looked like a doll.

Primo stared in shock. "Oh… My… God…"

"Giotto, are you ok?" Lampo asked.

"Nufufu~ Maybe the shock of seeing such a feminine and weak-looking successor melted his brain," Daemon suggested evilly.

"He's…" The Guardians stared at Giotto apprehensively, waiting for a rant about how unfit the boy was to be the next Vongola don.

"SO ADORABLE! OMG HE'S SO CUTE AND UKE-ISH! KYAAAAAA!" Giotto let out a fangirl squeal and glomped the oblivious boy.

"Forget the Varia or whatever! This little princess this definitely going to be my successor no matter what! Xanxus is all tough and manly, but Tsunayoshi is soooo pwetty!"

The Guardians all sweatdropped at their pedophile boss.

_What the hell…? That guy's fangasm-ing over his great-great-great-grandson. And how come he knew the boy's name all of a sudden? Before he was just calling him Tuna! And he chose the Vongola Decimo based on _looks_? What the hell is the idiot boss thinking? The Vongola Family is doomed… No, scratch that. It was doomed from the beginning when it was formed by that idiot pedo._

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><p>This was the result of 3 cups of coffee-that-had-so-much-sugar-in-them-that-it-can't-even-be-called-coffee-anymore and a bag of multicolored bunny-shaped marshmallows with fruit flavored fillings at 1:30am in the morning. *Sigh* What was I thinking?<p>

Anyways, R&R please!

Click this for more G27 fluff. Or fluffy multicolored bunny-shaped marshmallows with fruit flavored fillings from Byakuran. Your choice.  
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	11. A GreatGreatGreat Grandpa's Wrath

Summary: In which Giotto is utterly pissed at Byakuran and everyone else is pissed at him.

278 words

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><p>"Now Decimo, I shall remove those shackles."<p>

"P-primo?"

There was a moment of flashy, epic Primo and Decimo bonding – I mean upgrading – and suddenly, the _original_ Vongola Rings are revealed!

Primo nodded in satisfaction and was just about to go back into the ring, sit back, and watch his adorable uke – I mean _successor_ – pwn Byakuran when he noticed something terrible.

"Tsunayoshi!"

Giotto grabbed Tsuna's face with his gloved hands and leaned closer to examine it.

_Too close too close too close!_ Tsuna panicked but managed to choke out a strangled, "Y-yes, P-primo?"

"Where did you get all of these scratches and cuts?"

"Um… We were having a battle just a minute ago…"

Primo turned and glared at the utterly confused Byakuran, his pedo – I mean _fatherly_ instincts automatically springing to life.

"You mean _that thing_ dared do this to your precious, adorable face? Why that little-! I outta blow him into the next century if I wasn't dead!"

"U-umm, Primo…"

"Tsunayoshi!" Primo turned back to his successor with a positively murderous oh-no-you-did-not-just-do-that-to-my-uke-you-bastard face.

"Y-yes?"

"_ANNIHILATE THAT MARE BASTARD AND ALL OF HIS WORTHLESS COPIES!"_

"Y-yes…"

Meanwhile, on the sidelines…

Every Varia and Vongola member was aiming his or her most evil and murderous glare at Giotto, even Reborn.

_How he dare he just burst in and put his filthy hands on Tsunayoshi? Back away from our tuna or you're gonna wish you were dead! Oh wait… you already are… But that's beside the point! Get away from him, you pedo!_

Primo's Guardians shook their heads, sighing at the epic fail that was feared throughout the Mafia as the Vongola Family. "I feel sorry for the Decimo…"

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><p>So, a continuation of the G27 fluff from the last chapter! U like?<p>

R&R people! (Because I'm too lazy to do the arrow thingy again)


	12. Family Bonding Time Pt 1: Tunas

Summary: In which the random First Generation Guardians seem to be popping up in the most… compromising places…

This is Part One of several related drabbles that I will be writing about the First Generation Guardians appearing in the present.

687 words

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><p>Sunlight seeped through a bedroom window and landed on a comfortable bed, causing its occupant to yawn and blink. Tsuna sleepily rubbed his eyes and turned over, trying to crawl out of the bed.<p>

"Better get up before-"

Tsuna suddenly froze. Lying beside him, staring directly at him, was a certain blond man that Tsuna knew should _definitely_ not be there.

"HIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Ciao, Decimo," Giotto purred lazily, unperturbed by the fact that the brunette was screaming his lungs out. "Had a good sleep?"

"P-primo! W-what are you d-doing here?"

"What, I can't come visit my cute successor once in a while? And why are you being so formal? Call me Giotto."

"That's not my point! Aren't you supposed to be dead, Pri – I mean Giotto-san?"

"Ah, but even death cannot hold back the wings of true love!" Giotto said dramatically, attempting to strike a knight-in-shining-armor pose. Unfortunately, since he was still lying down, he failed epically and somehow managed to fall off the bed and crash onto the floor with a loud thump. "OW!"

"Ah! Giotto-san, are you ok?" Tsuna hurriedly crawled over to the side of the bed and peered down at his ancestor.

"Just fine, Tsunayoshi. Now if I could only get out of this stupid cloak-!" Giotto was rolling around on the floor, trying to escape the evil grasps of his mantle.

"Giotto-san… why are still wearing your mantle and suit? It's the middle of summer, you know…"

"Good point…"

Tsuna, even though he was perplexed by the fact that Vongola Primo had suddenly popped up in his room – in his _bed_, of all places! – help Giotto out of his heavy clothing and into a simple white shirt and jeans.

"Come on, let's go down for breakfast," Giotto said, gliding out of the room like it was his own house.

"W-wait! Giotto-san! How're you going to explain to my mom?"

Giotto gave Tsuna a deadpanned look that somehow made the dignified founder of the Vongola look like immature child. "Just say that I'm your lover or something, ne, Tsunayoshi~"

"W-WHAT?" But before Tsuna could protest, Giotto had already placed a firm arm around his shoulders and was leading him out of his room and down the stairs.

"Oh, Tsu-kun, your breakfast is re – oh, who's that?"

"Signora Sawada," Giotto swept over to Nana and placed a kiss on each of her cheeks (an Italian greeting). "It is such an honor to meet a lady as beautiful and elegant as you. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Giotto. I am young Tsunayoshi's lov-"

"-Friend!" Tsuna interrupted hastily. "He's a friend from a nearby high school!"

"Oh my!" Nana exclaimed, blushing. "What a polite young man! Just call me Nana. Would you like to have breakfast with us, Giotto-kun?"

"That would be very much appreciated, Nana-san. However, could I ask a few of friends to come over, also?"

"Of course! The more the merrier! Tsu-kun, you should also invite your friends over!"

But Tsuna didn't hear his mom's words.

"Wait, when you say friends, you don't mean-"

He was interrupted when the kitchen phone suddenly rang. "I'll get it!"

He ran over and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Juudaime? Thank god you're ok!"

"Gokudera-kun? What's wrong?"

"The First Generation Storm bastard suddenly popped up in my bath while I was taking a shower this morning!"

Tsuna could here shouts of "Address your superiors with respect, brat!" coming from the background.

"Shut up, Pink-Top! Anyways, Juudaime, are you alright? That perverted ancestor of yours didn't come and molest you or anything, did he?"

"Well, about that…"

"…! What? This is terrible! I'm so sorry, Juudaime, for leaving you all alone with that pedo! I'll be over right away!"

"…" Tsuna hung up the phone with a completely blank expression on his face. He turned to Giotto, who was standing curiously behind him.

"Hey, was that G. I heard?" Giotto asked.

"Giotto-san…"

"Yes?"

"If you're here, and G.-san is here… don't tell me… Alaude and Daemon Spade too?"

Suddenly, in the distance, several explosions and the sounds of buildings being destroyed could be heard.

"… Apparently so…"

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><p>To be continued!<p>

I really think I'm getting off my original intended theme here. But it's still First Gen, and it's still kinda awkward, so I guess I'm okay?...

Anyways, R&R!


	13. Family Bonding Time Pt 2: Bombers

Summary: In which Gokudera has a traumatizing experience in the shower, and G. is labeled as a pedophile.

This is Part Two of several related drabbles that I will be writing about the First Generation Guardians appearing in the present. This is a continuation of the last chapter, from Gokudera's POV.

431 words

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><p>Gokudera sighed in contentment as he felt the hot water pour over him, washing away all of his fatigue and relaxing his tense muscles.<p>

"Ah, there's nothing like a hot shower in the morning before going to meet the Juudaime," he muttered happily.

"Hmph. You barely have any muscles, brat. Not even a six pack. How can you call yourself Decimo's right-hand man?" A deep voice suddenly sniffed from beside him.

Gokudera, partially because he was still waking up, and partially because hanging around Yamamoto so much made him develop an automatic retort mechanism, immediately responded, "Shut the hell up! I'm not like the stupid baseball idiot or the loud lawn head; I don't need physical strength to win-!"

He whirled around. And. Saw. The. First. Generation. Storm. Guardian. Sitting. On. The. Edge. Of. His Bathtub. Staring. At. Him. What?

"AHHHHHHHHHHH-WHAT THE HELL YOU BASTARD WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IN MY BATH ARE YOU SOME KIND OF PERVERTED PEDOPHILE OR SOMETHING I'M CALLING THE POLICE WAIT HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE YOU'RE DEAD THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE STOP STARING AT ME NAKED YOU PERVERT GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

G. delicately covered the ear that Gokudera was yelling into with one hand and used the other to push the bomber's wet face away from his.

"Calm down, brat. Show some respect to your elders, would you?" he said irritably. "Besides, I don't even want to be here. That idiot boss forced all of us out of our rings for some 'family bonding time' or whatnot. It wasn't my idea."

Gokudera, still in shock, took a moment to comprehend that. "Wait… idiot boss? You don't mean… AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

He screamed for the second time that morning and leapt out of the shower and rushed out the bathroom.

"THAT PEDOPHILE PRIMO BETTER NOT BE MOLESTING JUUDAIME OR ELSE I'LL BLOW HIM UP! EVEN IF HE'S ALREADY DEAD!"

"You should put some clothes on, you know? You're still naked," G. called after him.

Gokudera burst back into the bathroom for a split second, grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself. Then he rushed back out again, sprinting for the phone and crashing into random things along the way.

G. sighed. "Youngsters these days… So impatient… Not that I can blame him. I would be afraid for my boss too, if I knew someone like Giotto had suddenly showed up at his house."

He gracefully removed himself from the edge of the bathtub and proceeded out of the bathroom.

"Well, might as well eat some breakfast while I'm at it…"

* * *

><p>Ah, fanservice! Yay!<p>

Anyways, I'll be doing a little drabble from each Guardians' POV, and then another drabble where they all get together to have their 'bonding time'. Then that will be the end of the 'Family Bonding Time' series, and I'll go back to the random drabbles from before.

Sorry to any readers who don't like this kind of format, I just had the idea in my head and had to write it. Yeah...

Anyways, R&R please!


	14. Family Bonding Time Pt 3: Baseballs

Summary: In which Yamamoto and Asari bond over baseball. Well, kind of. It's more of a one-sided thing.

This is Part Three of several related drabbles that I will be writing about the First Generation Guardians appearing in the present. This is a continuation of the last chapter, from Yamamoto's POV.

409 words

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><p>"Ahahaha!"<p>

"Ahahaha!"

"Err…"

Yamamoto stared at the scene before him with a perplexed smile on his face, scratching the back of his head.

His dad and the First Generation Rain Guardian were sitting at the kitchen table, eating sushi and chatting away like old friends.

The pair looked up and grinned at Yamamoto.

"Takeshi! You're up!" his old man smiled. "Come here. I want you to meet this gentleman, Asari Ugetsu. Apparently, he's the second cousin removed of your mother's half-brother's aunt or something! Never heard of him before, but he's a swell fellow!"

"Why, thank you Yamamoto-dono. It's an honored to be graced with such words, de gozaru." Asari Ugetsu smiled.

"Err…" Yamamoto continued to stand there awkwardly, scratching his head and wondering if this would be a good time to go into his clueless mode and just pretend he didn't know a thing.

"Don't just stand there, Takeshi! Come and entertain our guest! Tell him about baseball, or something!" his dad beckoned impatiently.

"Baseball?" Asari looked confused and curious. "What is that, de gozaru?"

Yamamoto's head shot up and he stared at Asari. "You… don't know what baseball is?"

"Nope."

Suddenly Yamamoto felt dizzy. There was someone in the world… who didn't know of the godly, perfect, epic, awesome sport called baseball? Blasphemy! He, Yamamoto Takeshi, would not allow it!

"Asari-san!" Yamamoto suddenly had on his scary home run face.

"Err… y-yes?" The dead swordsman had a very, very bad feeling.

And suddenly, Asari somehow found himself standing in a baseball field with a bat, glove, and several balls piled in his arms. He turned around and blinked. How had he…? He was sure he was back at the sushi shop just a second ago…

And there was Yamamoto, decked out in his baseball uniform, looking for all the world like he was a drill sergeant.

"Today!" Yamamoto barked. "You are going to learn about the amazing, undefeatable sport known throughout the world as baseball! By the end of the day, we are going to have the basics drilled into your head; do you hear me, recruit?"

"Eh… What?" Asari managed to get out.

"Silence! We're wasting time! We'll start with one thousand swings and then one thousand laps around the field! After that is catching, pitching, batting, and..." Yamamoto rambled on about the different practices they were going to have.

Asari could feel a headache coming on.

"How did it end up like this, de gozaru?"

* * *

><p>This chapter was really hard to write. It's just hard to do awkward or crazy with Yamamoto and Asari. I mean, they're both so frustratingly cheerful and happy-go-lucky that's it's just really hard to make a good drabble for them. I'm sorry.<p>

R&R, people! Next chapter will either be Alaude or Knuckles, so tell me which on you guys want!


	15. Family Bonding Time Pt 4: Skylarks

And so the result of the vote was... Alaude!

Summary: Hibari has an obsession with hamburgers, and Alaude somehow converts ordinary kitchen utensils into deadly murder weapons.

This is Part Four of several related drabbles that I will be writing about the First Generation Guardians appearing in the present. This is a continuation of the last chapter, from Hibari's POV.

465 words

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><p>Hibari yawned as he slipped on his coat and pinned on his red armband of leadership. He stretched lazily, and headed out of his room and to the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast before heading over to Namimori to begin his early morning patrol.<p>

He took a step into the kitchen. Stopped. Observed the sight in front of him for a few milliseconds. Rubbed his eyes. Turned around and exited the kitchen. Turned around and went back in. Nope, it was still there.

"What are you doing here?" he hissed at the blonde who was standing over the stove.

The Frenchman turned to look at him.

"Cooking breakfast…"

"…"

"…"

"… I can see that. That's not what I meant."

"Oh…"

"…"

"…"

Hibari gave up trying to interrogate the First Generation Cloud Guardian and sat down at the table.

"I want hamburgers," he requested.

Alaude turned around and narrowed his eyes at the prefect.

"Hamburgers are unhealthy. You can't eat them for breakfast. We're having omelets."

Hibari glared at his look-alike.

"I want hamburgers."

"Don't act like a spoiled child."

"I'm not, herbivore. Besides, you're the one intruding. I should be biting you to death for this, but I've decided to be merciful and spare you. So make me hamburgers."

"You're a hundred years too early to be ordering me around, little boy. Stay quiet and be grateful that I decided to grace you with my magnificent cooking skills."

Hibari brought out the infamous, fangirl-squeal-inducing tonfas.

"Herbivore," he seethed. "I'll bite you to death."

He charged at Alaude and attempted to swipe at him with a tonfa. Alaude gracefully dodged, flipping the fluffy yellow omelets in the frying pan as he did so, and produced a set of polished silver knifes from a nearby kitchen drawer. He brandished them menacingly, and for a second, it looked like his eyes were glowing red.

"… Sebastian?" Hibari raised a delicate eyebrow while attacking again. "Isn't the pineapple herbivore more suited to that role?"

"What?" Alaude questioned, looking confused while counterattacking with the knifes.

"Nothing," Hibari muttered, as he destroyed a good half of his kitchen. "Forgot that anime hasn't been invented in your era yet."

"Ok…" Alaude gave a shrug, destroying the other half of the kitchen.

And so the violent, dangerous, deadly, destructive, and everything Hibari-and-Alaude-like brawl of the skylarks began.

* * *

><p><em>Fifteen minutes later…<em>

Hibari and Alaude sat on the charred remains of Hibari's house, both of them panting and looking satisfied with their fight.

Alaude glanced at Hibari.

"Omelet?" he asked offering a plate of omelets that he had somehow managed to cook perfectly while fighting Hibari.

Hibari glanced at the fluffy yellow eggs and realized that he was hungry after their little death match. Screw hamburgers.

"Sure, why not."

* * *

><p>I really don't know why I wrote this. It's really weird. I just don't know. I guess I was hungry, or something?<p>

Anyways, did any of you get the Kuroshitsuji reference? No? I know it was a kind of fail, but for some reason I had an urge to put a Kuroshitsuji reference in there. Yeah, I don't know why either. And I've always thought that Mukuro would be an awesome Sebastian, you know. And Chrome - or maybe Tsuna - could be like Ciel. Chrome even has the eye patch and everything. Someone should write a crossover like that, I think.

But enough of my rambling. Next chapter is Knuckles and Ryohei! EXTREME!

R&R minna-san! See you soon!


	16. Family Bonding Time Pt 5: Boxers

Summary: Knuckles is apparently easily forgotten, and Ryohei has a big brother complex. An _extreme_ big brother complex.

This is Part Five of several related drabbles that I will be writing about the First Generation Guardians appearing in the present. This is a continuation of the last chapter, from Ryohei's POV.

579 words

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><p>"EXTREME!" Ryohei shouted as he jogged through the dark, early morning streets of Namimori. His voice was even louder than usual in the silence, because no one was awake yet. Well, they would be as soon as they heard the energetic Sun Guardian's yells.<p>

"MAXIMUM!" Another voice suddenly joined his. A ghostly figure appeared out of the darkness.

As it got closer, Ryohei could see that it was man who looked suspiciously like a grown-up version of him, except he was wearing old fashion priest robes and had black hair. For some odd reason, Ryohei got the feeling that he had met the stranger before.

"GOOD MORNING TO THE EXTREME!" Ryohei greeted the priest. "ARE YOU JOGGING TO THE EXTREME?"

"EXACTLY TO THE MAXIMUM!" the stranger responded, running beside him. "EARLY MORNING EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR THE BODY TO THE MAXIMUM!"

"EXTREMELY SO! HEY, HAVE I MET YOU SOMEWHERE BEFORE? YOU SEEM EXTREMELY FAMILIAR!"

"YEP! I'M KNUCKLES TO THE MAXIMUM! THE FIRST GENERATION SUN GUARDIAN!"

"… WHAT?"

"YOU KNOW, PART OF THE VONGOLA?"

"… NOPE…"

"THE RING! YOU KNOW, I'M IN THAT RING YOU'RE WEARING! THE ONE DECIMO – I MEAN TSUNAYOSHI – GAVE YOU!"

"OHHH! …I STILL DON'T GET IT TO THE EXTREME!"

"… NEVERMIND… TO THE MAXIMUM…"

"OH, WE ARE AT MY HOUSE TO THE EXTREME!" Ryohei suddenly stopped in front of a house. "WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME IN TO THE EXTREME?"

"I WOULD APPRECIATE THAT TO THE MAXIMUM!" Knuckles responded enthusiastically.

The two boxers made their way into the house. The smell of pancakes greeted them as they approached the kitchen.

"Oh, hello onii-san! Back from your jog? Oh-! And who's this?" Kyoko greeted them, flipping pancakes.

"THIS IS AN EXTREME PERSON I MET JUST NOW! EXCEPT I ALSO EXTREMELY MET HIM BEFORE! I JUST DON'T EXTREMELY REMEMBER TO THE EXTREME! EXTREMEEEEE!"

"Oh, nice to meet you!" Kyoko smiled at the stranger who looked like her brother. "I'm Sasagawa Kyoko, his sister."

Knuckles automatically switched out of his maximum boxer mode into his saintly priest mode.

"It is a pleasure to meet you to the maximum, signora," he replied with a smile, walking towards her.

Ryohei suddenly felt his extreme big brother complex acting up.

"To meet such a beautiful, talented, and elegant young lady as you surely must be a blessing from God. Amen to the maximum."

Knuckles bent down to kiss Kyoko's cheeks like a proper Italian… and was suddenly shoved away by a very overprotective big brother.

"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY LITTLE SISTER? NO ONE TOUCHES KYOKO TO THE EXTREME!"

"Onii-san!" Kyoko looked very flustered. "You mustn't do that do our guests! He was only trying to-"

But Ryohei and Knuckles weren't listening anymore.

"INTERRUPTING A GREETING IS RUDE TO THE MAXIMUM!"

"YOU EXTREMELY HAVE NO RIGHT TO KISS KYOKO! I HAVEN'T EXTREMELY APPROVED YET!"

"WHAT RIGHTS TO THE MAXIMUM? WHAT APPROVAL?"

"SINCE YOU WON'T LISTEN TO ME TO THE EXTREME, LET'S SETTLE THIS WITH OUR FISTS, LIKE REAL EXTREME MEN!"

"I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU REACHED THAT CONCLUSION TO THE MAXIMUM, BUT ALRIGHT!"

Ryohei and Knuckles settled into fighting poses and stared fiercely at each other.

"Wait, onii-san! Don't do that in the kitchen!" Kyoko cried out in distress.

Too late.

"EXTREME RIGHT UPPERCUT!"

"MAXIMUM CANNON!"

Ten blocks away, Tsuna and Giotto felt the floor shake.

"What? Earthquake?" Tsuna squeaked in fear.

"Err… I don't think so…" Giotto muttered guiltily as distant shouts of "EXTREME!" and "MAXIMUM!" reached their ears.

* * *

><p>Yes, I know Maximum Cannon isn't Knuckle's move, but I couldn't find any of Knuckles's moves, so I just used Maximum Cannon because it has the word maximum in it. And Maximum Break is not a move by the way, it's the equipment, so I couldn't use that.<p>

I'm pretty sure Knuckles says 'Maximum' instead of 'Extreme', right? Or it could just be the subs...

And on another note, I used caps lock for almost half the time I was typing this chapter. EXTREME! Haha!

Anyways, next chapter will probably be Lampo and Lambo, I think. Cuz I wanna save Daemon Spade and Mukuro's wrath for last. Tee hee.

R&R, everyone, WITH YOUR DYING WILL! EXTREME!


	17. Family Bonding Time Pt 6: Brats

Summary: Lampo and Lambo have a high school girl cat fight and Giotto and Tsuna are annoyed. And Reborn is epic, as always.

This is Part Six of several related drabbles that I will be writing about the First Generation Guardians appearing in the present. This is a continuation of the last chapter, from Lambo's POV.

537 words

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><p>"No, Lambo-san is awesome and amazing so I get it first!"<p>

The cow child glared at the older man, pointing rudely.

"Ore-sama is always first, and no one is allowed to disobey ore-sama!"

The First Generation Lightning Guardian glared right back, hands on his hips.

"Lambo-san's been here longer than you, spinach-head!"

Lambo reached a hand into his afro, searching for grenades.

"Ore-sama doesn't care and he doesn't take orders from snot-nosed brats! And ore-sama is _not_ a spinach head! Ore-sama will have you know that ore-sama's hair is a beautiful, completely natural shade of emerald green that brings out the most of ore-sama's elegance and grace!"

Lampo gave a haughty hair flip to prove his point.

"… Vomit-head."

Lambo picked his nose and stuck his tongue out insultingly.

"! You little brat, how dare you insult ore-sama like that? Ore-sama is the son of a powerful and influential aristocratic who could crush your little family with one word!"

Lampo scowled and looked like he wanted to wring his successor's neck until he was foaming at the mouth.

"Lambo-san is going to be a Mafia boss on day and kill Reborn! If you ask for forgiveness now and beg to be Lambo-san's servant, I'll spare you and let become Lambo-san's minion!"

Lambo let out an annoying laugh.

"It's _mine_!" Lampo repeated menacingly.

"No, MINE!" Lambo sneered back.

"You two, shut up!" Giotto growled, at the end of his wits. "It's just a bathroom, for God's sake! There are two more of them in the house! Why can't you two find another one or just share peacefully, for heaven's sake? And stop making baseless threats! Lampo, you lived more than a hundred years ago, and Tsunayoshi's Lightning Guardina, the Sun Arcobaleno has beaten you without even blinking five times already this morning! God, why are both of you so annoying and bratty?"

"Plus, I have to use the bathroom right now or else I'm going to be late for school. Not to mention it's _my_ bathroom in the first place!" Tsuna added meaningfully.

"Exactly!" Giotto agreed. "So as your boss and the founder of the Vongola, I order you to let my dearest Tsunayoshi use the bathroom first!"

"Yes – Wait, who are you calling your Tsunayoshi?" Tsuna whipped around to glare at his ancestor.

"What, I can't?" Giotto pouted and gave him the puppy dog eyes.

And so the argument in front of the bathroom door continued for a good ten minutes before a certain hitman decided that he had had enough.

"All of you be quiet."

A very black and menacing aura suddenly came from behind them. The quartet immediately shut up, started sweating, and all gulped nervously. They all slowly turned around to see Reborn, holding his neon green gun and looking very pissed off.

"For the next five hours I'm using the bathroom to recurl my epic and incredible sideburns, so anyone who even touches the bathroom doorknob will meet _instant death_. Understand?"

"YES SIR!" The four saluted and scrambled out of the way as fast as they could.

Reborn smirked. "That's better."

He pulled one of his sideburns lovingly. "Now it's just you and me for the next few hours, darling."

* * *

><p>Ahahaha, I love Reborn! He's so epic, and so are his sideburns. I just had to add him to this chapter.<p>

I know that Reborn probably wouldn't threaten Giotto though, since he has respect for Vongola Primo. But since this is supposed to be a humorous fanfic, please bear with me, ok?

And next is the chapter you've all (probably) been waiting for! Daemon, Mukuro, and Chrome! Mwahahaha! Oh, and BTW this takes place after the Shimon arc, so Mukuro is freed from prison in case any of you haven't guessed.

R&R guys! I live off your reviews!


	18. Family Bonding Time Pt 7: Pineapples

Summary: Chrome has a dark side and Daemon Spade learns to fear the power of pineapples.

This is Part Seven of several related drabbles that I will be writing about the First Generation Guardians appearing in the present. This is a continuation of the last chapter, from Mukuro/Chrome's POV.

Notes: Chrome will be slightly – ok majorly – OCC. Oh, and this takes place in Kokuyo Land. And _lots_ of Daemon bashing. _Lots_. Slightly 6996, I guess, if you squint. More like sibling love, in my opinion.

821 words

* * *

><p>"Nufufu~"<p>

"Nmm… Mukuro-sama?" Chrome blinked blearily and shifted from her curled up position on the tattered old couch.

She turned her head innocently, expecting to see the face of her dear Mukuro-sama, but was instead met with the hideous face of… the perverted, pedophile melon-head.

"Nufufu~ Hello again, my dear Chrome-chan." Daemon Spade was leaning over the armrest of the sofa, his head right above hers, staring at her with his mismatched eyes.

Chrome blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MUKURO-SAMA YOU MELON BASTARD!"

"Eh-?" Daemon Spade only had time let out a puzzled sound before he met the full wrath of the Vongola's only female Guardian.

* * *

><p>Mukuro chewed on his breakfast that consisted of a candy bar, making his way to Chrome's room. He was in the middle of considering if he should send her off to the Vongola's house for a proper breakfast instead of just the usual junk food, but his pride was deeply conflicted.<p>

He frowned slightly, still arguing with the two little people on his shoulders, and absently started to push open the door to Chrome's room. Then, he heard Chrome's scream.

"CHROME?" he yelled, bursting into the room, ready to save his precious host. What if it was that melon pedo trying to assault his precious Nagi again?

The scene that met his eyes made him spit out his candy bar. No, it wasn't Daemon assaulting Chrome. In fact, it was the exact opposite. Chrome was assaulting _him_.

To be more accurate, Chrome currently was choking Daemon Spade with a ragged, dusty old curtain she had no doubt torn from one of the broken windows. The First Generation Mist Guardian had his eyes rolled up into the back of his head and was foaming at mouth, while his dear, _innocent_, _cute_ Chrome was shouting obscenities in many different languages (even _he_, the went-through-6-lives Rokudo Mukuro didn't know what some of them meant) at him.

"W-what…?" Mukuro gaped, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water (a very badass fish, might I add).

"!" Chrome turned at the sound of his voice and saw Mukuro. "Mukuro-sama!"

She blushed and smiled happily, dropping the half-dead pedophile (who lay twitching on the floor) and rushed over to him. Mukuro kufufu-ed slightly uneasily. Who knew Chrome could be so violent?

"Err… Chrome, what exactly happened here?" Mukuro asked the girl, who looked up at him with innocent, angelic eyes.

"Oh, you mean that _thing_ over there?" she asked sweetly, gesturing rudely at Daemon (who was still foaming at the mouth). "I was only minding my own business, but then that dirty _thing_ showed up and it was being so disgusting and perverted that I got slightly angry and decided to punish it."

"…Per…verted?" Mukuro felt a vein throbbing on his forehead. "That _thing_ was being perverted with my precious Nagi? Kufufufu~" Suddenly, a very dark aura rose around the illusionist. "Chrome, shall I help you punish the thing?"

He waved his hand, and all of the sudden, two _gigantic_ piles of piles of pineapples appeared before them. But they weren't any _ordinary_ pineapples. One of the piles had pineapples made entirely out of metal, and damn were those glinting spikes sharp-looking. The other pile had pineapples that looked like… Well, they looked like Lambo's pink grenades tripled in size and pineapple-shaped. As expected, only Mukuro's awesome imagination can come up with pineapples like these.

"Kufufu~" Mukuro's mismatched eyes got a very dangerous glint in them. "Maybe we should play catch with the _thing_, ne? Don't you think that would be very fun, Chrome?"

And suddenly, Chrome's eye also had a very scary glint. "I think that is a great idea, Mukuro-sama." She had an evil grin on her face. "It's a shame Yamamoto-san isn't here," she sighed with absolute sincerity.

"Kufufu~ No matter. I'm sure everyone can still enjoy themselves," Mukuro responded with an even eviler grin. "Come on, let's get the fun started."

Both Mukuro and Chrome armed themselves with armfuls of deadly pineapples and aimed them at Deamon Spade, who was just starting to regain consciousness. (Do not try this at home, kids!)

"One…"

"Two…"

"Three…"

"SHOOT!"

Daemon Spade woke up with a groan. He opened his eyes and saw… a metal pineapple and a pineapple bomb flying full speed directly at his face.

"AHHHHH!"

Tortured screams and large explosions could be heard from the abandoned Kokuyo Land that day. Any unlucky passerby who happened to be near ran away mentally scarred for life, muttering about 'demons' and 'pineapples'.

* * *

><p>Back at the Sawada household, Giotto and Tsuna peered contemplatively at two bowls. One held chunks of melon, and the other held pineapple chunks.<p>

"Hmmm… which one should we eat, Tsunayoshi?"

"I think-"

But before Tsuna could answer, the chunks of melon suddenly turned black and melted into goop.

"…. What the hell?" Tsuna asked in bewilderment.

Giotto shrugged.

"Well, I guess someone was kind enough to decide for us."

* * *

><p>I think this is my longest drabble yet! Actually, only the first drabble had 100 words, so I don't think any of the others after it count. But oh well.<p>

The next chapter will be the final in this little series, and then I'll go back to my usual topic. I hope you've found the Family Bonding Time to be funny. Thanks for all your reviews, guys! I really appreciate them!

Once again, R&R guys! You rock!


	19. Family Bonding Time Pt 8: Gathering

Summary: In which all of the Guardians gather, and Tsuna fears for the future of the world... and also his virginity.

This is Part Eight, of several related drabbles that I will be writing about the First Generation Guardians appearing in the present. This is a continuation of the last chapter, from everyone's POV.

Ok, actually, I was wrong. This chapter was way to long, so I decided to divide it into two chapters. Or else it would become a one-shot, you know.

888 words

* * *

><p>"JUUDAIME!" Gokudera sped over to his precious boss's house as fast as humanly possible, and then some. His hair was still dripping wet from rushing out of the shower without drying it.<p>

He was also openly blowing up any obstacle that got into his way, including, but definitely not limited to, a parked car, a little old lady crossing the street, a Chihuahua (the one that keeps bothering Juudaime!), and, oddly enough, a large swarm of penguins waddling across the road (what are they even doing in Japan?)

G. followed behind at more leisurely pace behind him, dodging any stray penguins that were sent flying his way. He sighed in exasperation. "Young people these days… I really need a cigarette…"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Yamamoto was helping a limping Asari over to Tsuna's house, since it was the closest to the baseball field. Asari looked like he was about to keel over and die in the middle of the road, but Yamamoto laughed cheerfully.<p>

"Don't worry, don't worry! We're almost at Tsuna's! You can rest when we're there!"

He was answered with a groan that sounded like the dying keen of some animal.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Hibari and Alaude were jumping on rooftops to Tsuna's house like badass ninjas and glaring at each. Hibird fell behind them, chirping the Namichuu anthem.<p>

"Why are you going this way, herbivore?" Hibari asked stiffly, leaping to another rooftop. "I'm just going to discipline the herbivores who have no doubt crowded there," he added quickly. "I'm not going for his mother's cooking or anything."

Alaude sniffed. "I'm just going because I'm sure that the melon idiot is causing trouble. I'm not going to check on the idiot boss or anything."

Both Cloud Guardians turned away from each other. _He's got ulterior motives._

* * *

><p>"EXTREMEEEEEEEE!"<p>

"MAXIMUUUUUM!"

"EXTREME TO THE MAXIMUM!"

"MAXIMUM TO THE EXTREME!"

"TO SAWADA'S HOUSE TO THE EXTREMELIEST MAXIMUMNESS!"

Ryohei and Knuckles were having a race. And when I say race, I mean that they were literally tearing the road apart and leaving small fires in their wake. They were going so fast that no one could actually see them. Every innocent passerby who fell victim to the two Sun Guardians only heard the combined shouts of "Extreme!" and "Maximum!" a millisecond before they were bowled over by the force of two miniature tornadoes and never seen again. Yep. Just a race.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Lambo and Lampo were… in a compromising position. Somehow, Lambo had gotten gum stuck in his giant afro (which was not unusual), but then when Lampo had tried to help him out, he had somehow also gotten the same gum stuck to his own hair, so now both Lightning Guardians were connected at the top of their heads by a piece of seemingly unbreakable gum.<p>

And yes, it was unbreakable. No matter how hard the two brats tried to pull their tightly stuck-together heads apart, the gum somehow had the elasticity as a rubber band, and their heads would also snapped back together with a painful _'thump!'_ once they reached a certain distance from each other. Ah, the epicness of chewing gum.

From somewhere above, Reborn smirked evilly and watched the scene through his trusty video camera. "That's it Leon, keep them like that for a while."

Unnoticed by the two lookalikes with similar names, a pair of small eyes suddenly grew out of the gum, and winked back at the infant hitman.

* * *

><p>"Kufufu~" You probably thought it this was Mukuro laughing, didn't you? Well, you're wrong. It's not <em>just<em> Mukuro laughing. Our cute, innocent, moe little Chrome was also laughing the same evil laugh as Mukuro, with the same evil smirk as Mukuro plastered on her face.

"Kufufu~ Kufufu no fu~~~~!" Nappo and Patchy sang together, doing circular motions with their hands that was probably supposed to be dancing but looked more like they were wiping an invisible window pane.*

Both Mukuro and Chrome samba-ed towards Tsuna's house in a dense cloud of indigo mist, pineapple hairstyles bobbing in sync as they sang Mukuro's theme song. If you peered very closely through the mist, you could see that the Mist Guardians were dragging a bloody blob in chains behind them. Upon even closer inspection, the blob had a suspicious resemblance to a melon that had been cut up and blown up many, many times. Hmmm, I wonder what it could possibly be?

* * *

><p>"I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to die." Tsuna banged his head against a nearby wall repeatedly, muttering the same foreboding phrase over and over again.<p>

A seconds earlier, he had heard the war cries of several of his Guardians, heading straight for his house. Our poor boss had no doubt that they were also bringing the First Generation Guardians along with them, which meant _twice_ the amount of destruction and _twice_ the amount of repair bills and headaches for him.

He estimated that the destruction of his house would take about 27 milliseconds. The destruction of the world... well, it definitely wasn't in the distant future either, especially with Hibari, Alaude, Mukuro, and Alaude all in the same room at the same time.

"Tsunayoshi~" Oh, right. The destruction of the world was the least of his problems right now.

Right now, the first thing the worry about was his... virginity and ass.

* * *

><p>To be continued...<p>

* * *

><p>* Kufufu no Fu is like Mukuro's character song. And I got the dance from the Rebocons. It's seriously hilarious. They really do like the hand motions and everything. If you want to see here's a Youtube link: .comwatch?v=jVu5Fmf-1uw&feature=related (just type in youtube before it). It shows Mukuro's and Dino's seiyuus (voice actors) singing Kufufu no Fu.

* * *

><p>So, yeah, to be continued! Sorry it took me so long to update... I hope you found this chapter funny!<p>

And it's time for my rant...

I'm sooooooo sad! No one's taken my poll yet! Come on guys, you just have to chose an answer and click the button! It'll take you like a few seconds! Is it really that hard? I really need you guys to take the poll, or else I won't know if I should post my OC story up or not. Please, you guys? Please just spare a little time and go take it right now. It's not like it'll kill you! PLEASE?

Anyway, that's all for today's rant.

R&R, minna-san! Ja na!


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